Wednesday, June 8, 2022

Remicade #5 plus some

 Lillian had her fifth infusion today.  They had quite a bit of trouble getting her IV in, but thankfully another nurse was able to get her on the third stick.  (who knew I'd be praying over needles?? Seriously, though, I've been doing that a long time)  The infusion went well after that, (can you feel the but?) BUT, she started having more bleeding today in her stool.  Her bloating seems to be worse this last week.  The doctor has asked us to keep a watch and hopes that this infusion will curb any further bleeding.  I am supposed to keep up with them and let them know how she's doing over the next several days.  His thoughts are that perhaps eight weeks is too long between treatments.  So, please continue to pray over her these next few days as we see what unfolds.  This is mentally and emotionally difficult.  

I struggled over the weekend as we received several new hospital bills relating to my ongoing urinary issues and Matt's new diabetic diagnosis.  We had received an unexpected financial gift the previous week to help with all the added expenses of the extra trips and meals, directly after that we got the hospital bills.  Tears stung my eyes as I spoke to the Lord about my frustrations.  We can't seem to get ahead without being knocked down in some way, shape, or form.  I cannot express my thoughts and frustrations adequately.  I spent the evening in worship in my living room and then Sunday morning the guilt of my doubts swept over me.  I asked him to forgive me.   I know He is already there but I get my ownself ( as my facebook friend would say) in the way.  I fail everyday, but he never does.  A hundred dollar bill was slipped into my hand that same day as a thank you for serving.  

Today, as I've managed the calls and messages between nurses and the dr about the new bleeding....I'm just tired.  I DO NOT want her to go through this again.  Period.  Yet, here we are. Taking pictures of poo and wondering. 

We got home without hitting any serious weather praise the Lord.  There was a letter on the counter in the mail and a financial gift had been given to us to help cover gas costs.  Friends came over last Friday and scrubbed my main floors and various other cleaning duties that get neglected in the day to day of our hectic season.  Another friend is bringing us dinner tonight.  I might cry on her as I share our day.  I had to spend the day in the courthouse yesterday having been sequestered to jury duty.  I did get called but they excused me as soon as they questioned me regarding my inability to serve on the trial that would take place today.

Blessings are everywhere and I'm grateful. Thank you for continued prayers.

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