Friday, July 29, 2022

Overwhelmed and Blessed?

 Can the two coexist?  I say yes.  I sat here this morning thinking on all the things.  Well, first off this is a bill pay/budget day for me.  That can be overwhelming in and of itself at times.  My mind started running,  school about to start...the layers of "stuff" that will add to my load.....no longer having respite care because my daughter moved on to a full time job.....the layers that will add to my days...can I face the challenge of hiring a person I don't know to help.....a new job for my husband which is great but no overtime....can I serve in making a dish for a church dinner......what will I have prepped for our dinners the next two weeks....how can I use what I already have.....the lists....needs of my children....the looming infusions and hematology and pulmonology appts ahead and what will I do with my son, and who can pick him up from school that day......am I making the right choice for her care....I am aware that these are ALL things that face every other person in the world.  I don't feel sorry for myself, but I am overwhelmed.  Although,  everyone faces these challenges, not everyone is faced with a medically fragile child to care for as well.  The tears start to flow and I pray.  God help me.  I need wisdom, I need guidance.  Help me release the panic I feel. The blessings flow in to remind me, I am not hidden.  Random acts of kindness have flowed over us in the past week and a half.  Some of them specific to me others for our family.  They come in the form of an Aunt  who takes my son shopping for school shoes and buys him school clothes, a daughter who purchases school supplies out of love, a mom who takes us three out to lunch and sacrifices time to sit through appointments, friends who show up with ground beef and a gift card, a sweet friend who hands me a gift bag of goodies, friends who listen and take me to dinner, financial helps from a coworker and friends and our church.  All of it helps and reminds me He sees me.  He sees us.  

I'm struggling with the unknown and to be honest what will be known. I continue to trust the Lord and that He does.  I am sad that my child continues to face struggles.  Sometimes, the thought creeps in, how much can this little girl take before her body can take no more.  I do not linger on these thoughts, but I'm just being honest here, they do come.  But at the end of the day, the Lord is there.  He knows and he fights for me.  I need only to be still.

Are you struggling today?  My advice, "the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still" Exodus 14:14

1 comment:

  1. Help us to be still in the comfort of your wings. Help us to listen. Thank you for never leaving us.

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