Saturday, June 4, 2016

I am not ready.

Tomorrow is graduation day for my second child.  As I visited open houses today for other grads, I became emotional.   As I've been preparing for this day with picture printing, party planning, and gearing up for the week ahead, I find my mind going back.  Like an old school film projector...going back over the years.  All the way back to birth of that amazing young woman we've raised.  And, I'm not ready.

Full of energy, full of will she has pushed me in my parenting skills and just like that I blinked and she's all grown up.

This is also time of pondering the future.  It's bitter sweet in more ways than one.  While I am joyful for the future, it's so hard to let that baby go and fly. No longer under my wings. I'm not ready.

Then my mind looks to the next child who will, before I can catch my breath, be right on her heels and I'll be back here again... not ready.

Then, I look at my Lillian who will always be under my wings and that's just a whole different level of emotions.

I'm not ready...but Rebecca is.  I'll try to let go and continue to put my prayers where my worries are.  In the hands of God.  I'll continue to trust that she is STILL and always under his wings.  So much mightier than mine.

Tomorrow is the end of one journey and the beginning of another, I'm not ready,

our family photos circa 2000. Rebecca just  2 years old.