Monday, April 29, 2013

Playing in the tub

I'm sitting here, feet propped on the tub, while Lillian "plays" with her big sister's mermaid in the bathtub.  Looks more like she's trying to drown the poor doll, but playing nevertheless.  LOL.  I'm reflecting on the simple pleasure of "playing" in the tub.  This is something that you start early with your children...but that has not been Lillian's experience.  Baths were nightmarish having a trach and open stoma for a total of 4 years.  It took her forever to not be scared of water because we had to be so careful while bathing.  It's so funny what you take for granted.  She is sitting there "talking" and singing and thoroughly enjoying herself.  Makes me not want to get her out, but alas, she does get pruny very fast and that water just doesn't stay warm for long.

She is battling some something that is making her very whiney and making her eyes look very dark.  This weather is so crazy and she wants to play outside so desperately...which brings on the whiney.  She has 6 days of school left and the other girls will be out by the 23rd.  Yay for summertime.  Time to relish our time together as baby time gets closer.  Lillian has taken to talking or better yet, shouting at my tummy and then giving a kiss.  If you ask her about the baby, though, she makes a gagging noise/face.  Well, she has opened the drain and wanting out so I'm out for now.

Friday, April 12, 2013

How to truly melt a Mom's heart

It has been a habit of mine to pray with Lillian at night.  I start and pray for each member of the, good day at  I say amen and then Lillian tries to close her eyes and mumbles...not ever saying words, just grunting essentially. ( I have I ever mentioned that she isn't able to voluntarily close her eyes?)  I have to admit, I fell out of the habit and this week she reached for my hand and kept squenching her eyes shut and it finally dawned on me that she wanted to pray.  I started saying my prayer and finished.  ( I never mention myself in prayer).  She began mumbling as she always does...and then she said "mom" in the midst of her "words".  She knew and recognized that I did not pray for myself and there she was, in her way whispering a prayer for "mom".  I was on a cloud.  It has always been sweet to listen to her offer her prayers even though I do not understand it.  But to actually hear her insert my name hit me on so many levels I cannot even describe it.  Blessed.  Nothing but blessed.