Thursday, May 30, 2019

Wearing thin

Depending on where you are reading this, you may or may not know Lillian broke both bones in her left leg on May 17th.(she also had a secondary infection which cleared with antibiotics, but was hard on her)  She is non-weight bearing for four weeks and then we will see if the fractures have healed and then a walking cast if it is.  Tomorrow will be two weeks since the accident and it's been rough.  I have a whole new understanding of SN Mom's who are lifting their "big" kids every day.  Multiple times a day.  I'm blessed that she is potty trained, but that makes for multiple full lifts all day long. Her pain is intermittent and she's emotional off and on.  Since the swelling has gone down in her leg the cast is looking very loose.  We both think they will likely recast when we go back next week.

 I'm tired.  Lillian has had an obsessive/compulsive type of behavior going on for a long time.   I won't discuss the specifics, but it is something I feel only the  Lord can make stop...but it's exhausting to constantly have to watch and correct said behavior. Like...all. the. time. Now that she is bed fast it is MUCH worse.  Aside from her also being afraid for us to be out of the room and being completely homebound. I'm  struggling today.  I'm worn.  She has finally started sleeping through the night again. I'm fighting what ever the bug  she and Ezekiel had ( he is finally over his croup, but still sniffling)   She was casted on the 20th, so we are still 3weeks+ out from possibly going to a walking cast. These last couple of weeks have been reminiscent of the days when she first came home, needing my complete attention and total care.  My mom  got her a wheel chair, (because the drama of trying to attain one through the "process" was a total fail) it arrived yesterday.  I'm hopeful that weather will clear up enough for us to take some walks soon.

Tired.  Heavy hearted.  Worn.  Still looking up.