It is overwhelming.

 But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in the mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. " James 1:22-25

This is part of the scriptures I studied Thursday morning. I felt led, right away to share it on facebook , so I did.

Later that day I tried to reorder one of Lillian's meds only to find it was denied being filled. After several calls, I found out that our insurance will no longer allow us to utilize retail pharmacies. We MUST use their mail order pharmacy. They also, after several calls, informed us that they would not bill her secondary insurance. I lost it. Another thing was going to be added to my list. By evening I made my peace, knowing that I could go through the whole reimbursement process, I didn't have a choice. The next day after long phone calls, I found out  medicaid won't allow us to submit for reimbursement. After I exhausted all resources and shed a few tears. Peace kind of washed in. We would put it on a credit card and have to deal with it. That's going to be roughly and additional 200.00 out of our pocket. I try really, really hard to not complain about money. The reality is that we have struggled in this season. Unforeseen circumstances, such as medical bills and more medical bills...this is the first week in years I hadn't enough money to pay for groceries. As I made my bed, wondering how this was going to work...I decided to put an application in a local grocery store. I went onto the website twice to apply and the link was broken each time. I gave up. This is just how it's going to be. We can and will scrape by. We will. As I made my bed Friday, I said in my brain, how amazing would it be if  1000.00 dollars came in the mail. Then I giggled. Reality check crazy lady.

Saturday morning came and went and as we sat down to lunch a knock came to the door. A group from the 1010 project stopped by to see if we needed any work done. (a local church organizes groups of 10 and each person brings 10.00 and they go around town in prayer going where God leads them. ) She handed me some money, and in my mind I thought, this is awesome I can get more groceries. They prayed with us and left and as I made it in to the other side of my house, I flipped the money over to find a 100.00 bill, one after the other....adding up to 1200.00. I was undone. Overwhelmed. Noone knew this information except us and God.

I could tell a million stories like this one. Oh how HE loves us. Oh how HE loves you. Reread that scripture....just completely ovewhelming.

I shared this testimony at church on Sunday, hoping the message was clear that this wasn't about money, but a God who is in every detail. By the end of service we were donated an additional 1000.00 dollars. Then a sweet lady, who I don't know, came over and gave me what I presume was her only 7.00 in her purse and told me it wasn't much, but it would buy an ice cream.

This is a hard, hard season, but it just pushes me closer and closer to the One who knows it all. Draw near to him. He will draw near to you. Be blessed today.

Updates

 We saw the pediatric gynecologist today.  She also had an ultrasound prior to the visit, in which I went to the complete opposite end of the complex and office and had to drive to the other side and then we were late....I digress, she was pleased with the ultrasound and said  her organs looked really good.  (We don't hear that too often) She would like to divert to the orthopedic and endocrinologist in regard to how they feel about continuing depo shots.  At this point, she will get another depo shot at the end of the month and we will see the new docs in the coming weeks.  There were a lot of I don't know the answer to those questions because Lillian is not a "typical child"  in size or in all her specific medical issues.  Bottom line, no IUD for the time.  

I'll interrupt here to tell you that this is possibly the first time in almost 16 years that I forgot to grab her feeding supplies and didn't remember that I forgot until we parked in KY. There's some MOTY status, right there folks.  I like to stay on top, you know.  Back to our regularly scheduled update....

We got to her blood draw appointment and the tech asked me if they gave me a kit.  I'm like, a kit?  No, no kit.  My brain said here we go.  Apparently, the Dr Gut put in a order for stool samples and I needed a kit to collect and bring them back within 24 hours.  After some conversation, we decided to try to get one while we were there and she was like "oh no I don't collect it"....poor new girl...LOL They stuck her 3 times before they got the draw and then she was able to give me a large thick liquid stool which was so delightful to dispense into tiny containers with a tongue depressor.

  Don't hate me for my glamorous life, y'all.  

All in all, a good appointment today.  I felt relieved.  I dreaded this visit, and it turned out mostly positive.  I *hope* this blood work gives us some definitive answers.  Her next infusion is the 28th and we see the hematologist as well.  Thank you so much for your prayers and support.  They are needed and they are felt.