Just got the call from ENT. Lillian is scheduled for her tonsilectomy on November 1. Pharygeal flap surgery to follow on December 20th. These are the steps we have prayed over and hoped to happen. Now we have approvals and dates....and I'm already feeling the nerves kick in. These appointments, to me, are kin to her palate repair and decannulation. It seems so much rests on these important surgeries. Then, my mind starts...are they THAT important? These are the issues that have to be addressed to hopefully move forward. Right. That is the mantra...right? It pulls at my heart to know I am ultimately the person making these choices for her. Do I have to put her through these surgeries? It seems that it gets harder every time we face surgery. I know---believe in my heart this is the direction to go...but it just doesn't make it easier for me to think about.