Hair cut

Today Lillian got her second ever hair cut in a salon.  The stylist is a friend of ours and graciously opened her shop this evening so Lillian could have her hair cut alone.  There were tears at first.  Fear is her first response to most every thing these days.  As she began to realize that this was kind of fun to sit high in a chair, she calmed down and big alligator tears rested on her cheeks as smiles soon replaced fear.

as I sit contemplating the night, I wish the fears I harbor could be as easy as taking the scissors and trimming them away and dumping them into the trash.  In about a month and a half this little angel will turn 8 years old.  8???  How can it be?  Her 8 years of life sometimes seem like its been an eternity.  Struggling through so much.

As our children are growing by leaps and bounds I'm starting to really realize that it will be just a short time before they are all off living their own lives.   We will still have a great deal of time with Ezekiel and Lillian..which leads me to thinking on the future.  Now, I don't feel like I focus on negative thoughts, but I can't help but sometimes wonder how much time we will be granted with our sweet girl.  And I'm just going to say it.  I don't want to be in that club.  I don't even want to call it out.  But at times I'm afraid.  And that fear is overwhelming.  It weighs on my heart.  Heavily some days.

So today, I'll swallow my tears, focus on this....and pray for peace.