Is it well?

 Yesterday, I told myself over and over, in prayer, whatever we learn today, it is well with my soul. All day.  I chanted it over and over.  I got home, felt tears come and go but nothing every really came.  As I prepared for bed, I continued to talk with the Lord.  All I could think about was the woman with the blood issue that reached for the hem of his garment and was healed.  I had updated a prayer warrior friend and as I lay there, the tears, the sobs, they came. All I could say to the Lord is, it isn't well ..i lied. I had no other real thoughts other than I think the stress just poured out of me.  As I lay there, trying to cry quietly, (as one can who is sobbing) so as not to alert Lillian, my phone rang and my prayer warrior friend was calling.  She talked and I cried harder...silent mostly...I think.  She began to pray and as I listened to her words the sobs subsided, the tears slowed.  She asked me what she could do to help me and I know she meant it.  Honestly, I just don't know what help to ask for...if that makes any sense.  I remember telling her all I know how to do is keep moving forward.  Trust the Lord, keep moving forward.  

It takes me a little bit to wrap my mind around these situations.  I need to get a grip on them.  I don't mind sharing our journey, but I need to absorb and process it so I'm not crying about it. If anyone knows me at all, they know I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to cry, but I just need to process...

I had a stressful dream, but I do understand them as it applies to my current situation.

Life is hard.  God is good. I shall come forth as gold.

 We went to her appointment and there were no solid answers.  I gave a great deal of information about her history and basically answered questions. They repeated the blood tests that were done by the other hospital and got a lot more.  We won't have answers for about 6 weeks.  I messaged her today for some clarification on some things we talked about yesterday, but she is out of the office today.