And the coughing begins...again

 I sit here this morning, mouth burning, deep throbbing, pressing an ice pack to my face, after a difficult extraction on Tuesday.  My hormones are raging,  I haven't slept through the night in I don't know when because of sickness and/or pain.  I'm feeling a bit grumpy.  (is it obvious?) As I type, Lillian coughs.  She started coughing on Tuesday.  I ramped up her treatments on Wednesday, it seems to be helping.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm just not my best self at the moment.  My thoughts shift to a friend whose son's body is losing its earthly battle, my friend with MS is crippled in pain and has been for years, another friend is struggling with an aging parent.  Another friend stuggles with serious health issues and watching her husband's mind slowly deteriorate due to the cruel disease of Alzheimer's.  A missionary we support has buried a brother and father in the last three weeks.  Life is hard.  I ache for them and many others.  

 I read an article this morning from Key Ministries.  It is a group dedicated to caregivers living with special needs parenting.  It was about the sins we, I face, being a caregiver.  She listed the top 4.  They were, discontentment, envy,  pride, and ungodliness.  Well, let me tell you, I was a little shocked when I read the title.  As I read, though, I could see how some of these issues applied to me.  Envy and discontentment. Shots fired.  Raising my hand. ( Now let me back up a moment.. I have a few friends who have seriously shared their souls on facebook.  Sharing things that were honestly, quite shocking to me.  My thoughts have been,  I don't think I could share that with the world.  ) Well, here I am world, sharing my sins.  The Lord showed me many months ago my sin of covetousness.  I confessed to him, now I'm sharing with my fellow believers so you can hold me accountable in the future.  I do struggle with envy and discontentment.  Not all the time and not often but sometimes it burns through me.  And as I sit here, in not my best self, grumpy, self pitying, tired of hurting, stressed with a potential illness looming....tears sting my eyes.  Forgive me, Jesus.  Holy Spirit rise up in me and conquer all these things.   

Pray for us.  Pray that Lillian does not get sicker. 

 After a very rapid string of events, my husband with be having a heart cath in 6 days with a strong possibility of stint placement.  Of course, as murphy's law would dictate, they scheduled it the day of Lillian's next infusion.  While I can see her Crohn's symptoms increasing,  her infusion will have to wait another week.  Well, you know what ?  Murphy can have his law, because I have Jesus and that's all I need.  Thanks for hanging in for this hodge podge, somewhat jumbled mind dump I've created here today.  Keep us in your prayers as I know you faithfully do.  God is good.