While life's circumstances continue to try to beat me down....

 Ok, I admit it, last night I was tired and discouraged.  Tired of advocating, tired of fighting, tired of financial complications and unexpected life things.  As I sat at my desk, head in my hands, tears flowing, I would silently ask a question..."why did he do that?  how can this happen?  how will we manage to? will he be ok going back to work?  where will the money come from?  how will this month play out with all her appointments?  how can I take anything else?????" Even as the questions flowed, scripture flowed back, then words,  "I will provide".  Sometimes it's hard to pray so my prayers sound more like questions and needing/wanting answers.  It's hard in the waiting.  It's hard trusting when there are no tangible answers.  I "sucked it up" got about dinner and nighttime things, went to bed and read a book until my eyes ached.  I laid down and the tears began to fall again.  When Matt came to bed I asked him if he was discouraged and simply said "no".  I guess that was all it took me because I felt reassured.  I don't want to burden him with my thoughts....but I did and I was able to rest.  

So many good things God continues to pour out on me, on us.  With each good thing there is, there is a bad thing that follows.  

I spent the day yesterday serving at a funeral.  The funeral of a man who meant so much to my family and served us faithfully even when we no longer were a part of his "fold".  That was how he loved.  Noone is perfect, but he loved and served the Lord up until his last breath.  Even his funeral was solely pointed to Jesus.  I had the privelege of loving on his family.  

Lillian has a lot of appointments this month with several back to back trips to KY.  Pray for safe travel and good results.  I think I'm dreading the GI visit more than anything because I know she will need to be scoped again and that means anesthesia/surgery.  

So I want to encourage you, as much as myself maybe..."in my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.  What can mere people do to me? " Ps 118:5,6  

Ps 119:143 As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands.

Ps 120:1 I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer.

Pray for our safe travels to KY tomorrow and that her infusion goes without complications.