Scars

I see the marks left behind
Reminders of pain, physical for you
Emotional for me, harsh reminders  of 
the past...

It used to grieve me when I would see all those small puncture wounds in your groin.  It reminded of the marks a sewing maching leaves behind in material.  How did you endure so much?  I'm sure I'll never understand it.  I can't really comprehend it.

You struggled to breathe yesterday as we moved briskly though the cold and it struck me again how i'd forgotten you sometimes can't breathe. A little bit of panic running through my head.  Asthma attacks scare me a bit.  Even with today's modern medicine, children still die from asthma attacks. 

I, once again, had fallen victim to feeling so normal.  We had your hair cut and I wondered what the gal must have been thinking..maybe she wondered why you didn't speak in words and only in grunts. But I was silent.  I just stood there holding your head when necessary.  I took some pictures after wards and you were so tickled. You had the sweetest smile on your face and I noticed in the picture the scar on your neck.  The forever reminder .I shudder at the recollections of those times.

I see the scars left behind
gentle reminders of hopeful days ahead.