Thursday, April 7, 2011


I am having a blah kind of day. Not really sure why. Just am. Yesterday, Lillian's speech path informed me that because they had a waiting list of six kids, they were going to cut Lillian's half hour session so they could get these other kids in and out and hopefully by summer get her in for her one hour twice a week sessions. Maybe, this would not bother me so if all of Lillian's biggest needs are related to SPEECH. She kept asking me if that was ok, and I said, no not really. I don't know if I should get her back into her previous speech therapist or what. I don't know if I should just tell them NO, and I had to wait on a list for her to get in there....I'm feeling very helpless, yet again. How can I feel that I am doing what's best for her when the professionals in place aren't meeting her needs. I get a complete feeling of loathing when I am mixing formula each and every day. I want my child to eat and be healthy. I desperately want to break that boundary of speaking. This was just not what came to mind when we decided to have just one more. You know how your kids are sick and they don't like to take their medicine. Usually that only lasts seven to ten days. How about everyday....twice a day having fluids forcefully shot up your nose?? How about every day...having to sit while a breathing treatment runs. How about every day being hooked up to a hose four hours a day restricting you activities and movement. How about every day a bloody nose. How about therapies every other day just striving to learn to do what comes normal and natural for most everyone else. Today, I'm tired. I'm mentally going through the checklist of all that needs to be accomplished and did I give this med and that and have everything done that needs to be. I think most times I feel so normal...just not today. Not today.


  1. I would definitely not pretend and say "yah, its ok". Tell her no way! Thats not good enough! I love when people whine about a round of antibiotics or something. How about 20 meds a day, every day? I guess thats why us chronic moms get cranky!

  2. I can't believe they are cutting her hours....that does not seem right. Maybe they need to hire another therapist so that they can see everyone that needs to be seen!

    I am right there with you about the day to day meds and breathing treatments! Some nights I just want to be able to not do them! But, unlike a skipped dose of antibiotic, everything I do for Gavin is needed....EVERY SINGLE DAY!

    No vacations!

    No off to bed early for just one night! HAS to be done!

    And, some days we just don't feel like it!

    This is why I love blogging! I don't feel so alone in this crazy life and I'm able to vent and get it all out, and then "get back on the horse."

    Love and Hugs!

  3. Tell them the truth Michelle. Tell them you are deeply concerned for Lillian's speech. Be honest with them and hopefully, they will understand and not just offer empathy but the course of treatment Lillian has been getting used to. Will be praying for a positive result regarding this.

    Wendy xx

  4. I really don't know how they can just "cut" her therapy for a few months...really??? I am sure you are angry - you should be. Is this the school therapist? If so, you may have to be "one of those moms" who we therapists all fear, but their children get what they need. I have a friend who has put the fear of God in the school system here - let me know if you want to talk to her :)
    Praying for you friend - hang in there-