The Dreaded Case Conference

Well ya'll....I did real good...for ALMOST the whole conference.  I had prayed, I have talked, I have acknowledge things to myself....and I felt confident I was ready to have this meeting.  So, as usual, each discipline (starting with Psych) shared Lillian's IQ, testing, goals, achievements, and further care needed.  She does happen to qualify for the special ed program due to her moderate cognitive delay as a primary reason and speech impairment secondary.  I was doing great until the special ed teacher from the new school she'll be attending started talking.  She was walking me through a "typical" day at school.  She got to recess and lunch and I thought I was going to puke.  All the walls built up in my mind came crashing down.  Recess with multiple classes???  Eating lunch???  (all this in my head, mind you) I felt it was probably better to cry versus puke.  I think all would concur.  So, I did just that.  I started to cry and the ugly cry almost snuck up and bit me.  Of course, everything in the room stops.  The principal from the new school jumped in and kindly asked me to please share what caused my breakdown and just to lay everything out.  I jumped in to all my concerns, her health and safety.  Period.  I told them it was way out of my comfort zone to imagine her on a playground with lots of children.  I don't want to keep her in a bubble, but I know my kid and the needs she has.  Few adults have the grasp of that and other kids...oh my.  Basically, I got myself together in short order and reined in the ugly cry...thankfully.  I just had a moment of sheer panic take over and it passed and we got down to business.  Lillian will attend full days 3 days a week and 2 days half days, those being days she has therapy outside of school.  She will slowly integrate into an art special with her peers after a time of adjustment at school. This is all subject to change as Lillian's abilities dictate how she handles it all.   I will meet with the school nurse to discuss Lillian's health issues in depth and train her on the  feeding pump.  It's funny how you get these plans set up in your mind and then as people discuss issues and needs it becomes clear what decisions need to be made.I opted not to send her to ESY (extended school year) and I hope that is a good choice, if not, well...I guess we can just add that to my MOTY accolades.  Lillian will continue to work with her current therapists in OT and PT at school but we will say good bye to her ST and have someone new stepping.  It's always a little sad for me to change because you go through so much with these folks.  Leaving prek will be hard.  She's been there almost 3 years.  I look forward to her little graduation, but it will be a bittersweet moment.  Lillian's life is moving forward and it's great, but the transitions are not so easy all the time.  Kindergarten....how can it be?