Today we met with a CVS to resolve our "dispute". I guess I'm no longer at liberty to discuss details, but if you read on back you can find out what I'm talking about. I had so much trouble falling asleep last night as I considered the choices I've made in regards to the situation.
First of all, I'm angry with myself. I know it's not my fault. BUT, I work really hard to manage her illnesses at home. As a parent of a medically fragile, special needs child, I weigh all the pros and cons of taking her to a doctor or a hospital. In hindsight, I think I'm not always picking the lesser of two evils.
Secondly, I'm glad it's resolved, but it doesn't stop my heart from feeling the pain of the difficulties she faces because of the negligence of the very institutions we depend on to help care for her. It is so unfair to her. It breaks my heart to be helpless.
Tonight, I brought her back to her own bed to get her back to sleeping here. I look for it to be a long sleepless night as she will likely wake up in a few hours and want me. Oddly, in my bed she sleeps all night, so I'm not sure what wakes her in the room she slept in for a year and a half with no problems.
She is battling snot in a major way and she even started wheezing tonight...which you KNOW it not a good thing. I hate wheezing, have I ever said that before?