Wednesday, January 25, 2012


You want transparency?  Last night Lillian's nonstop coughing woke me up and after seeing that it was not going to subside, I went down and got her nebulizer and started a treatment.  At about 2 AM I went back to sleep.  I went down this morning to get a fresh diaper and another albuterol to arrive back to her having peed through her diaper all over MY bed.  I just had a melt down.  All the while feeling so discouraged.  It's been one week and she's sick. Again, sneezing out massive amounts of snot.  As I wept, I kept telling myself that I was being irrational. I prayed or at least tried to assimilate some form of prayer in my mind to drown out my discouragement.  I had my moment, got the treatments going, diaper changed and feeding started so that our day could continue as it "normally" would.  I sit down to check facebook and blogs, where God reminded me to be grateful, to know He is there, catching those tears.  That while things are not optimal now, we are NOT in a hospital, our bills are paid this month, and it could be much worse. 


  1. Praying for her health and your sanity. Hang in, Mama.

  2. Sounds about like my life these days! I have been feeling so ornery, and just tired of the coughing...the extremely stuffed up nose...the nebs...the meds...the doctor appointments...the many diarrhea leaked diapers!

    My attitude has been very poor on the inside, but I've been working so hard to not show how I'm really feeling on the outside. I appreciate your transparency, and I can relate.

    Even through these feelings, I too, have been digging deep and finding perspective.....Perspective that shows me how truly blessed I am, and that it could always be worse!

    I've been trying to remember that in all that I have to do, I should be doing it for His glory! Unfortunately, I've been failing at this a lot! (Poopy messes and glory just don't go well together sometimes!) But, I'm trying, and will continue to try!

    Thanks for helping me to see I'm not alone in those sleepless, neb-filled, messy nights! : ) Love and Hugs!!!