Monday, May 11, 2009

8 Days

8 Days and I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm irrationally scared.

Palate repair means so much. I know it isn't a "major" thing such as heart surgery or brain surgery or something of that magnitude, but it doesn't help me to not be afraid. I do believe I've had quite enough of surgeries. I'm concerned that there are issues that will need further attention. Not to mention I've taken this crazy leap out of my comfort zone from the hospital I'm so familiar with into a place I've never even been before. I'm worried and I pray. Casting my cares upon my Lord. I guess I must not really give it to him or these feelings wouldn't remain.

I guess, though, that I'm probably "normal" (notice I put that word in quotes, as it is objectional) in my feelings as noone should ever have a comfort level with placing their child in the position of letting there child's breathing be controlled by a machine. That with surgery there are always inherent risks.

8 days and the wind of change begins.


  1. Sometimes it is SO HARD to give it ALL to God! I don't know why we think that we can control everything if we do! Oh yeah, We were given feelings and emotions and an intense love for our children.....that's why it's so difficult!

    Hang in there! I'll be praying! In the mean time, try to give a little bit more of it up to Him! HUGS!!!

  2. When it comes to giving it to God, I am the worst!! So hard, especially if you are a control freak like me!!!

    Absolutely normal though. I get freaked with something as small as a bronch, Anything where anesthesia is involved.

    I hope you can find a way to get your mind off the upcoming surgery. If you don't I think I will have to make a trip out to IN and commit NutJim myself!!

    Hang in there sister,


  3. Thinking of you!!! Prayers!

  4. Honey any surgery is major surgery! I want to pray for you and you family, if that is alright.