I sit here, thirty minutes past Lillian's IEP, struggling with my emotions. The first thing they hit me with was Kindergarden and how as things look right now...Lillian would be shipped straight into a regular class with no help and about thirty minutes a week of individual education time. It has been a fear of mine that they would just want to ship her straight to K. I'm not a teacher or a doctor, but I KNOW Lillian is not ready for the general education dept. She is delayed, she doesn't have concrete communication, she's physically delayed to a degree which I think would be dangerous to her in a normal classroom all alone. Her teacher feels the same way. I don't know even know if I'm conveying this clearly. Her teacher will have her tested in the springtime again, in the belief that she will qualify for the special needs classroom at a different elementary school. She would be in this classroom and spend thirty-forty minutes in a general education classroom with her peers each day with an aid. The whole situation is stressful. I have been told repeatedly that I should not worry about K bc it is so far away. Well, guess what? It's not. These are decisions that have to be planned on and made in the here and now. You know what I get more than a little tired of...being told when and why I should be thinking on or considering certain issues. The best thing I heard in that meeting was silence. It is A LOT to consider and decide on. Bottom line, I feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Just hearing the words Moderate Cognitive Disabiliy labeled on Lillian is a hard pill for me to swallow.
I just don't want her to struggle. Just like I don't want to see any of my kids struggle. It's been a bit of a rough morning for me. Maybe in a way that most people can't understand.
Medically, she is still battling a whole lot of snot. Her mornings are rough with lots of gagging and choking. She struggled with her food in speech this morning because of all the drainage. My warrior girl just keeps going with the flow.