Monday, December 19, 2011


I was a speaker for a church Christmas ornament exchange a couple weeks ago.  I was able to share a little of my testimony of faith as it has unfolded over the last several years, altered greatly by Lillian's birth.    After I spoke, I really examined my heart and realized I was was probably wussing out a little when it comes to situations where I feel so out of control.  I DO believe God is in control and He's got it all.  I'm trying to learn how to NOT be anxious or fearful when it comes to surgery and everything else that pertains to Lillian's health.

Her pump sounded the end of her feeding and it triggered the thought in my mind, "YAY a whole feeding in with no problems" quickly followed by..."wow, it will take another month, after tomorrow, to get back to this point...again"

I have not allowed myself to build up anxiety, I've really tried not to focus on tomorrow's events at all.  I'm trying not to have expectations about what it may or may not do for her future. 

I've been feeling a bit jittery, edgy even. 

So, if you would, say a prayer, for her, for my family, for me.  Will update as I can post op. 


  1. I really think it's impossible not to have extreme feelings and worries, especially when it concerns our children. God gave us feelings, and it's probably so we can take good care of our loved ones.

    On the other hand, I get what you are saying! I think our part in times of worry is to pray and ask God to give us strength and peace of mind.....and to try to put all our trust in Him, knowing He will take care of all the details.

    Praying for you guys! Hope tomorrow goes as well as it can! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

  2. Here's a poem I just read:

    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    His holy will abideth;
    I will be still whate’er He doth;
    And follow where He guideth;
    He is my God; though dark my road,
    He holds me that I shall not fall:
    Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    He never will deceive me;
    He leads me by the proper path:
    I know He will not leave me.
    I take, content, what He hath sent;
    His hand can turn my griefs away,
    And patiently I wait His day.
    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    His loving thought attends me;
    No poison can be in the cup
    That my Physician sends me.

    My God is true; each morn anew
    I’ll trust His grace unending,
    My life to Him commending.
    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    He is my Friend and Father;
    He suffers naught to do me harm,
    Though many storms may gather,
    Now I may know both joy and woe,
    Some day I shall see clearly
    That He hath loved me dearly.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    Though now this cup, in drinking,
    May bitter seem to my faint heart,
    I take it, all unshrinking.
    My God is true; each morn anew
    Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
    And pain and sorrow shall depart.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right:
    Here shall my stand be taken;
    Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
    Yet I am not forsaken.
    My Father’s care is round me there;
    He holds me that I shall not fall:
    And so to Him I leave it all.

    Reading it gave me peace.....hope it does you as well! Hugs!!! : )

  3. Sending positive thoughts your way