This is a difficult post to write. (This is your kleenex warning)
The Bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow because God is already there. So I'm not talking about worry. I'm talking about planning. Planning for a future. When I consider Lillian's future, I'm fairly certain she will always be with us. She will not grow up, go to college or likely even be able to hold down a job. That is a future I see. I also wonder what will happen if there's a day when I or her Dad will not be here or able to care for her. No parent wants to out live their children. As I consider all of this,the lump in my throat is causing me pain because who can love her as much as I do????
I hope, that her siblings and the spouses they choose will have a heart to take over Lillian's care if ever the need arises. I also pray that they will not be bitter in making the choice to care for her. I don't know if it's fair to expect them to assume the resposibility. Seriously, there are days when I feel very bogged down by the weight of the day to day, but I'm so grateful for the ability to continue to do so. She's my child and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Will a sibling feel the same?
Give Me Breath
As long as she is living, give me breath
As long as she is living, give me strength
As long as she is living give me health
As long as she is living, give me grace
As long as she is living, give me hope
As long as she is living, give me peace
As long as she is living, give me endureance
As long as she is living, help me to breathe
As long as she is living, let me give care
Lord, as long as you give her life...
Give me breath